2012: Out of control

It starts to be obvious that time is going. I don't know whether I have ever mentioned this on the blog -I definitely have when chatting with friends- but years used to start in September for me. Pushed by the inertia of a student's life and then working at the university, the Christmas holidays used to be a short and non-significant break. The summer used to be that turning point instead, with a before and an after. The transition between academic years was the moment to stop and think about the past and look forward to the future. But I left that lifestyle and the summer goes unnoticed without long holidays (but rather atomised like an archipelago of tiny islands of days off and trips). Nowadays it is the two weeks of Christmas break what represents a void of routine significant enough to think about that before and after. Listening the greatest hits by Henry Mancini (quite a lot) I get inspired to type this already "traditional" entry to look over last year.

I made it through a 2011 in gold letters with the uncertainty of seeing whether things could actually get better. They could, indeed... I thought that 2012 would be more quiet because it looked difficult that it could have more movement than the previous one. Well, I was wrong. Apart from all the journeys -I confirm again that my wings are stronger than my roots-, last year has been a turmoil especially in those aspects regarding feelings and emotions. This hasn't been always good, because that who dares to feel runs with the risk of suffering; but it has been an overall positive experience and I only get useful conclusions.
 
During 2012 I have neglected a bit myself and I have let me go with the flow. I don't know whether I haven't been me or, on the contrary, I have been more me than never before. I have held a flag of hedonism for a long part of the year, at least until the last few months where the wearing out has been obvious. I have had a total blast and I have been euphoric most of the time, but that euphoria has been brought by different situations to what I would have expected. Therefore, between my resolutions for 2013 I want to radically balance (even though this sounds contradictory) those aspects of hedonism and mortification. I think that balance is more typical of me than the lack of moderation or the hard self-discipline.

Letting yourself through a period out of control is not bad at all, but it comes a point when you have to recover the sanity before it is too late and you end up crashed into a wall.