Past-present-future

A bit more than one year ago my friend Nestor sent me an e-mail as true as shocking for me. Something that made me react and see things definitely from a different point of view. His conclusion was quite wise; something like: if 2009 was shit, then you have more reasons to be optimistic and expect a better 2010. And he was right, the old bastard... Last year was quite a good one, I must say.

I wonder now if the fact that it has been the year that I have spent abroad the longest time has an influence in that... I left my home-city in January and I practically didn't go back in one year. The changes I have seen this time have been quite noticeable to me, I mean internally. I guess it is normal and it was predictable, but still it feels strange to feel strange "at home" with "your people". The uprooting process is getting more obvious than ever and it seems unstoppable, like a disease.

For the first time I have felt that I have been to places and specially that I have been with some people who are already part of my past, not my present any more. Of course I am not talking about everybody as many the persons and places I have left there are still very (VERY) present in my life. But during the days I spent there for Christmas, I have found myself in front of people with whom I didn't know what to talk about or, even worse, I have felt uncomfortable talking with people who used to be very close to me and, as I say, I have felt them like part of my past. That is what losing contact involves: they are still nice people, they are still funny, kind, interesting... but so can my neighbours be, or the butcher, or the baker, or the bus driver, and they are not close to me, and I don't feel like chatting about personal things with them. I remember a friend said once something like (and I may have already mentioned at some point on this blog): "When you are very close to someone and don't see him for 2 weeks, you've got a lot of things to tell him. But when you lose contact for a year, there is nothing to talk about". I totally agree. If the contact is lost, then it is lost and you can do nothing to recover over a coffee or a meal what has been missing for one year. It feels artificial and feigned.

Looking towards the path ahead, I can only be optimistic though, leave behind what/who is behind and make the most of the sweet moment I am living right now. The prospects for this year are quite good: already settled in this new stretch, with an increasing network of nice friends, plans for some trips and hopefully longer journeys, integrated in the job, the office, the company, the city and the country (well, as integrated as you can be without speaking the language), with time to play basketball and go to the gym to avoid the joints getting rusty and having a feeling of overall well-being.

Future is ahead, it looks tasty and I am hungry.