Clint Eastwood was right

Photo: +María Gay (thanks)

I have a friend from work, Alex, who married last weekend his fiancé, Günther. Here they are on the photo, all smiley. They married in Granada, Spain, Alex's home-town. Nowadays, the same-sex marriage is legally approved and exactly the same as straight marriage in Spain. Günther is German, but in Germany, same-sex marriage is not yet recognised as having the same rights and duties as a straight one; there is only some sort of civil partnership but it is not the same. Oh well, it will arrive at some point step by step. This is the 21st century and the society is making progress. Right are extended to everyone. LGBT community members are reaching significant goals and marriages are starting to be considered equal. Two people who are the same sex can marry, as easy as that... Well, no. Not just that easy. And if you don't believe me, ask Günther and Alex.

The first logic step if a couple want to marry in a civil ceremony is to go to the town hall. Günther goes and says: "I am German and I want to marry my partner. It should be easy because he is also an EU citizen." In the town hall they tell him that it is not possible, that they can't marry as one understands marriage. Not yet in Germany. They can have something similar and blah blah, but it is not the same. Alex and Günther look at each other and... no way! They want to be a properly married couple and they don't deserve less than others for being homosexual and love each other. So Alex thinks that, since he is Spanish, what he has to do to marry his partner is to go to the Spanish consulate in Frankfurt.

At the consulate, they tell him that he can not marry a German person being in Germany. That is to say, Alex could marry at the Spanish consulate Pancho from Guanajuato, Sakamoto from Makurazaki, Jeetendrah from Rajahmundry or Zongo from Ouagadougou (or even me!), but he can't marry Günther because he is German and this is Germany. If they want to do that, they have to go to the town hall. "But lady, the thing is that we have been already there and they told us that we can't marry as one understands marriage."

Determined to carry out his diabolic plan and marry the man he loves at all costs, Alex goes to Granada and asks in the town hall there. He is Spanish, that is Spain and two men can be a married couple there, they just can. "No, sir, you can't. You are Spanish but you live abroad. If you want to marry, you have to go to the embassy or consulate in the country where you live." "But we have been already there and we can't marry because my fiancé is German, so they told us to go to the town hall. But there they told us that we can't marry as one understands marriage."

And this is the brief story full of problems, slightly adapted to be posted on this blog, of how Alex had to register back in his home-town, sort out all the bureaucracy, send the documents and forms asking for a wedding with a foreign man (documents that, by the way, they disappeared for several months in a court with some sort of Bermuda Triangle until someone felt like finding them), organise everything from his real home in Frankfurt to, finally, be able to say "I do" and kiss his husband.

Alex and Günther have been lucky, after all... They are both EU citizens and, besides, Spain would allow to live in the country to the foreign spouse and give him a passport eventually. Unfortunately, this is not always like that. There are couples composed by two men or two women from different nationalities who have to live separated by thousands of kilometres sometimes because they can't marry as one understands marriage. The only way for this couples to be together it would be getting a passport thanks to family background in the country or a work permit for one in the other's country and this is very difficult, often impossible specially if one's country is much richer than the other's. In any case, the fact that they love each other would have nothing to do with the fact that one could be in the same country as the other to be able to be together. Many of these people end up losing the person they love after the difficulties of keeping a relationship like that without any prospect of improvement. So far, the countries in which a same-sex marriage is considered as an equal compared to straight married per law nowadays are (sorted by law approval order): Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland and Argentina. In addition, we can include Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, Columbia district (Washington D. C.) and New York in the United States, Mexico D. F. in Mexico and Alagoas in Brazil.

“These people who are making a big deal out of gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of. They go on and on with all this bullshit about ‘sanctity’ — don’t give me that sanctity crap! Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want. I was an Eisenhower Republican when I started out at 21, because he promised to get us out of the Korean War. And over the years, I realized there was a Republican philosophy that I liked. And then they lost it. And libertarians had more of it. Because what I really believe is, let’s spend a little more time leaving everybody alone.”
Clint Eastwood in an interview for GQ magazine.

Congratulations Alex and Günther. You are married, as one understands marriage.