Welcome to your own party
Sometimes I wish I had a USB port to plug a cable and download directly on the laptop what I have in mind; otherwise I drive myself crazy if I try to express myself as I can't find a way. I feel dumb, like a 7 or 8 years old boy who can't find the right words because he doesn't even know them yet. He is surprised and annoyed because everyone around is older and they humour him. However, he realises that he was not conscious about something very obvious whereas the others were. He's been living... a lie? A deception? It was more a fantasy. And the adults around him used to look with that smiley tender approach. “Little angel... So happy with his own stories.”
So long assuming something and in the end it turned out to be the other. And I haven't realised until someone told me. This can be normal when one doesn't pay much attention or is not very interested in what it happens around him. But this is not the case. In this case, I haven't realised something that was happening in me, whereas other around me have. The thing is that I have been in love and there are people who have seen it earlier than myself. And then someone comes and says: "We all knew it. I think you are the only new one here. That is, welcome to your own party". And with this brilliant metaphor she slapped me and woke me up to my own life. "Smell the coffee, it's ready".
Then I feel that things are far clearer. That the story that I had made up was not like I believed. That it was obvious for many but not for me. That everything has to be rethought and approach the issues from another point of view. That as an archaeologist and historian that I actually am, a correct understanding of the the past helps to understand the present better and to build a better future.
(How do I knot that I was in love and I am not any more? Simple comparison. Who with? Never mind. What is gone, is gone. I just hope someone lets me know earlier next time it happens or, at least, it doesn't catch me looking so unkempt...)
So long assuming something and in the end it turned out to be the other. And I haven't realised until someone told me. This can be normal when one doesn't pay much attention or is not very interested in what it happens around him. But this is not the case. In this case, I haven't realised something that was happening in me, whereas other around me have. The thing is that I have been in love and there are people who have seen it earlier than myself. And then someone comes and says: "We all knew it. I think you are the only new one here. That is, welcome to your own party". And with this brilliant metaphor she slapped me and woke me up to my own life. "Smell the coffee, it's ready".
Then I feel that things are far clearer. That the story that I had made up was not like I believed. That it was obvious for many but not for me. That everything has to be rethought and approach the issues from another point of view. That as an archaeologist and historian that I actually am, a correct understanding of the the past helps to understand the present better and to build a better future.
(How do I knot that I was in love and I am not any more? Simple comparison. Who with? Never mind. What is gone, is gone. I just hope someone lets me know earlier next time it happens or, at least, it doesn't catch me looking so unkempt...)
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