Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

You must be thinking that I don't exist any more because I hardly post new entries. Or maybe you think that I am having fun all the time, partying, travelling, raving, visiting such and such or taking a train who-knows-where as that's what I've been doing last year month after month. Well, neither the first nor the latter statements match the reality: I still exist but I haven't been so quiet in my entire life. I think that, even though I keep working, I am even more inactive than the few months I spent unemployed in Manchester. At least I had a whole new city and the surrounding area to explore. Not that I know Frankfurt and the neighbouring villages like the back of my hand, but going to the town next door is not an idea that I find very exciting. Besides, it was summer when I was in Manchester; here we've had good weather only this week but still gets dark and chilly quite early.

I am not telling you anything lately because I don't find anything worth telling and interesting, simple as that. The year started very quiet but it started to be unbearable in February and so far it still is in March. I am bored to death and I don't want to bore you but it was about time to say that I am kicking alive even though it doesn't look like it. The reason for this immobility is the difficulties that I have right now to make plans in the short term. Some aspects of my life are stuck and I am waiting for news and developments so I can keep doing my stuff. Besides, due to an annoyingly long injury in a shoulder, I am not going to the gym either and that leaves a lot more of free time which I don't know how to fill by doing something productive. I am not motivated to do anything while I wait for decisions and events that don't depend on me but will condition the next months (even years?).

Weeks are passing and I do nothing but going from home to work and back. What I like the most is planning my trips and of course spending that time away, but I don't want to make plans now as I don't know if I will be able to realise them. On top of that, I have had to cancel a couple of weekend trips, which contributed to this swamp of free time and boredom. Two weeks ago I took a train to Cologne in carnival out of despair as I needed to do something and I couldn't stand another weekend here doing nothing (as little as I like carnival in general...). Thanks God I am going to Munich in a couple of weeks to evade from everything and just have pure fun! Besides, the motivation to start something like a good German course 2 or 3 evenings per week is also low for the same reason: the uncertain near future. It's the worst feeling for me, not to be in control.

I hope to clear up these doubts soon. I hope things go forward or backwards, let happen whatever has to happen for the good or for the bad, but may something happen, please! It is starting to be difficult to bear with this situation stuck in the middle of nowhere but it's not hard and I am ok, only... bored. That's the word that I use most often lately.