The dilemma

Things are going as I expected. January is being a very hectic month with plenty of things to do, to think and to enjoy. They're nearly two weeks since I came back to Oxford but it feels like I was in Vitoria years ago and I already miss all of them as much as I missed them before my visit. But that's normal I think and it doesn't affect me much because I keep my head busy with other stuff. As a friend said, enjoying a bit the own homesickness is not that bad but not immerse oneself in it (I hope she doesn't mind I post on the blog what she tells me by e-mail). She also said that in some way I take all of them with me wherever I go, and that is a great responsibility! I'll try not to take them too deep if I immerse again in something.

As I told you, there are a lot of things to think. I'm ok with the job but a bit delayed with Woolwich Arsenal's Building 11's report. Besides, I have started with those of Buildings 15 & 16 but I left them incomplete by the moment because I've started with another job more urgent (I don't have any deadline for those reports so they can wait). I'm working in a manor house now really beautiful doing an easy but a bit boring job. I'm going with a colleague and we get on better every day. I'm happy because the Buildings Department is giving me works to do and I think that that is a good signal. There may be some post for me soon, specially because from the end of February I'll be able to drive the company's cars and that will allow me to have more own projects. But it can also happens that they send me back to dig on site in a few weeks and the building's job is just a beautiful memory...

I'm every day better at home, really well. I love living with these people and I enjoy a lot their company and their conversations. They're a great support. Besides Toni is back, that guy who was some months ago. He'll be three weeks in the library, like the last time. The truth is that we don't use to see each other on weekdays but we have nice chats on weekends among muffins, milk and coffee talking about everything and everyone. And also he's member of the Wolfson College so we have plenty of friends in common. I learn a lot with only five minutes of conversation with him.

And talking about the Wolfson College, last friday we had a nice party there. I met people from all over the world again and even from countries that I hardly knew they existed (have you ever met someone from Kyrgyzstan?). We had dinner at an indian restaurant and directly to Wolfson from there. I've been meeting lately a lot of people here, mainly Torstein (Lars' second name) and other spanish people. I also meet the portuguese people from the company, Lis (a british archaeologist but that has lived in Hong-Kong until a few years ago) and Lucian (a very nice romanian computer technician). I use to go to have lunch, dinner, some drink...

So, my working life goes ok and it may improve, my home life goes very well and so does my social life. Everything is fine, everything is perfect to enjoy. But this thursday I have an interview for a bursary in Peterborough, another city far from Oxford, offered by the Cathedral and the IFA for one year. It seems to be very interesting to learn more about Buildings Archaeology (my field of study) and it is very well paid, much better than my current salary. Not only is a great opportunity but also it could be interesting to pack everything again and do a change of city to see a bit more of the country because it seems that I'm stuck in Oxford; to wake up again the nomad inside of me. Meet new people, new places... And it is much closer to the airports that take me back home. I'd have plenty of good things if I get it and I go there.

However, I'm not so sure if I will accept it in case they offer it to me. I haven't heard very good things about that city and I'll be limited by the one year term duration of the bursary in case I don't feel comfortable there (I can leave whenever I want now and I like to make plans for shorter terms). When I applied for it, my circumstances where different and I thought it would be a good option to spend 2008, but everything has improved a lot here and I'm not sure if, despite the money and the experience, I feel like changing of city again. Not only because every move is annoying but also because I don't feel like finishing my life in Oxford now that it's so good. I already aware that this is not forever and I'll have to leave some day, that's what I keep in mind at least. But I don't know if that moment should arrive now. The more I think, the more I realize that, the more comfortable I feel here, the more painful will be to leave in the future though...

I don't know yet if I'll get it and that on thursday I'll have just an interview, but the truth is that I think I have quite a lot of possibilities. Only the fact that they want to interview me is important because I presume a lot of people applied and they're going to interview only a few people on that day. In addition, they pay for all the train expenses and I don't think they did that if they had called many candidates. But as I said in a previous entry, I can't have roots and wings at the same time. I leave or I stay. And I have to think a lot about it now because, in the event I get it, they won't give me much time to think and I'd have to go there asap (that it'll be as soon as I finish the reports from Woolwich).

It's a big mess and I'm very confused. Everything has a lot of pros and very few cons. Every option is excellent. The point is: should I bet on a pleasant personal life and a good professional life but unstable or I bet on a professional life that can launch my career and a personal life that I have to start building from the beginning in a city where I don't know anyone? If they don't offer me that bursary and I don't have to make this decission that'll make it much lighter. But I'm going for it for my own pride, I want to get it, to be in the position of privilege of being able to choose between two excellent option and be me the one who finally decides. But, of course, your opinion is welcome. It's good to have others' help to make the decision so in case I make the wrong one, can always blame the others :o)